Forums » Book Club Challenge

10/12/21 Creep Cereal Challenge!

    • 124 posts
    October 5, 2021 5:25 PM CDT

    What creepy cereal would you create and who would be its spokesperson?
    Extra points for creepy!

    • 18 posts
    October 5, 2021 6:32 PM CDT
    Allow me to preface this by saying that as a member of the Per Ankh, I’ve heard quite a few tales. But to this day I have no idea how Anna Goldsmith’s tale reached the masses. I know that all goldfish cereal have been taken off the shelves and erased from the collective conscious of the masses. Even I myself was affected by this mist or glamour based wipe, and all true traces online have been deleted.
    Anna Goldsmith clomped into the classroom in style that morning. Her father had got the newest light up sketchers (the ones with the different settings!) for her and she was going to be the most popular kid in class. It had worked for that one boy, Bruce, after all. But when she arrived fashionably late to the 2nd grade class, all attention was around the desk of one student.
    “It’s totally true guys! If you eat NEW! Ultra Cheesy Cheesblasted Golfish Cereal with the milk in first, it WILL happen.”
    Anna stomped her feet hard behind Jeremy’s desk, turning the whole crowd over to her.
    “Whatever you say, Jerelame. Check out my new Sketchers!” She shrilled.
    Lexi Anderson rolled her eyes over dramatically. “We could care less about your sneakers, at least Jeremy’s interesting.”
    “Well what’s he have to say, then?” Anna demanded.
    A group of students over eagerly took over the story, all wanting to be the one to deliver the punch of the tale. Goldfish had released a new product: Goldfish cereal in a variety of flavours. Advertised, as always, by a group of smiling goldfish. And there was this urban legend spreading around about “The Smiliing.” It was said that if you offended the gods of cereal or goldfish in any way… your snack would “Smile Back.”
    “That’s ridiculous! You still believe in this childish nonsense?” The pint sized Alexa demanded.
    Jeremy shrugged and smiled evilly. “Why don’t you find out if it’s true?”
    “What if I do? I’ll record myself eating this cereal and I PROMISE nothing will happen.”
    “That’s not good enough! You have to offend the cereal gods!” Bruce shrieked.
    Her classmates started offering suggestions.
    “You have to eat it with a fork!”
    “At night!”
    “In a gwaveyawd!”
    Anna shot an evil look at Gracie Stein. “Why is THAT necessary?”
    Gracie shrugged. “I dunno. Youw challenge.”
    Lexi grinned. “And most of all…”
    Rebecca Thomas broke in. “You have to put the milk in first!”
    Everyone gasped.
    “Fine, fine, I’ll do it,” Anna said, faking exasperation but secretly loving the attention.
    “But when nothing happens I get to dare you to do something!” She pointed at Jeremy.
    “Why me?” He gulped.
    Anna just tossed her hair and walked sassily away.
    Time passed and eventually it was time to go home. It wasn’t difficult to convince her mom to make a quick shopping run for the new cereal; Anna was an exceptionally spoiled child. Anna went to bed early that night. She sat in wait for when she thought her parents would be asleep, since she wasn’t entirely sure when midnight actually was, and ended up leaving the house at exactly 10:24. She grabbed the box of cereal, a fork, her cellphone (EXCEPTIONALLY spoiled, as I said) poured milk into a bowl, and departed.
    As soon as she left she regretted pouring the milk into the bowl instead of finding a different container for it, and she realised she had no idea where a graveyard was. She did know where a wooded park was, however, so she walked down there. For SURE if she kept going for a while she would find a graveyard in the yucky wilderness, right?
    After two minutes of walking she gave up and sat down. Setting her phone to selfie record mode, she started narrating.
    “Here I am at midnight in the graveyard,” she lied. “And I have the new cereal, and this bowl of milk.” The bowl barely had any milk in it now, most was on her hands and phone. “So I’ll pour it in and start eating.”
    She poured the cereal into the now kinda gross looking milk. Nothing happened. She paused for dramatic effect, and scooped the work in for a biiggg bite.
    As soon as the fork touched her lips the sky lit up. A lighting strike hit straight into the bowl just as she jumped up. Her classmates were NOT going to believe she almost got hit by lightning. She’d be the top discussion topic for weeks!
    She scooped up her phone and turned off the recording. She reached her hand down to pick up the cereal but something strange happened…
    The milk started bubbling up like it was boiling, despite how little there had been in it. The cereal bits were rearranging themselves to cover the entire surface of the milk, except for the terrifying shape of a curved smile. She was disoriented, but felt oddly compelled to touch the smile…. She reached her hand out and touched it, feeling soggy cereal bits, as she was expecting.
    But then something happened, quick as a flash. Anna had no time to react and no time to understand what was happening.
    The cereal, now a fully formed smiley mask, jumped up onto her face.
    Her snack had smileyed back.
    The goldfish smiley has been rumoured but never officially reported. It is said that the goldfish smiley will never hurt someone, only try to grab their attention. The goldfish smiley is just as much an attention hog as it’s body….

    Anyway I know you weren’t asking for a short story but I thought this would be a fun way to respond to the prompt!
    • 25 posts
    October 6, 2021 5:07 AM CDT

    Bone Snacks!

    They strengthen your bones, enabling them to feast on the flesh around them and gradually take over the body, forming a completely new skeletal warrior!

    It's spokesperson would be Marrow Man! A cartoon cape wearing skeletal superhero, secretly suspecting people into thinking they're strengthening their bones for their own gain. 

    • 9 posts
    October 6, 2021 4:26 PM CDT

    First I believe Simon is gonna win so I’m just gonna do this for fun

    Chaos os the cereal the makes everything chaotic uses real demigod animus’s our motto is if it’s not chaos’s it’s not fun go burn down a house 

    Ps we will suck you soul if you eat this and make you a follower of chaos what do you thing happened to jevil 

    • 9 posts
    October 6, 2021 4:27 PM CDT

    Forgot to add this but the spokesperson is ether chaos himself or a frowny

    • 18 posts
    October 6, 2021 7:01 PM CDT
    Idk how to reply to a comment, but have some confidence Mano! Mine was long but the substance was subpar. Your idea was really creative! Doing things for fun is how you make something good!
    • 18 posts
    October 6, 2021 7:02 PM CDT
    Love your entry Mediae! I hope you see this because idk how to reply to comments, but the concept is really interesting! Super creative!
    • 9 posts
    October 8, 2021 4:39 PM CDT

    Aw thx Simon

    • 9 posts
    October 11, 2021 9:24 PM CDT

    Okay, I’ve had the idea since Tuesday, but I uhhh… Forgot (E), so here we go:

    The brand name is Cheerie-NO!’s (copyright issue? Yes. But the cereal isn’t real so I don’t have to worry about that :p), but the cereal itself isn’t just little round bits with a hole. It’s closer to a Froot Loops or Lucky Charms idea, you’d have multiple “colors” themed around a certain thing or person, but in actuality the bits would multicolored to accurately represent the thing they are. Since these are supposed to be creepy, and this is CHBA, the “blue” and “yellow” pieces will be Frownies and Smilies… Because let’s be honest those things are some of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen. The red/black one would be the Phantom from Project: 863 (which is a really freaking good YouTube series, 10/10 would recommend, though fair warning, there is some graphic/violent content). I wanted a purple one but I had no ideas so simply because spooky magic, Hecate/something-Hecate-related will represent it. Finally, the “green” piece will be… Me! Or rather, my Minecraft skin, because TheCupcakeKitty, one of our Minecraft mods, drew my skin really well and it gives me the chills (image is below). For a representative, I can’t help but pick Kat Dennings (a.k.a. Darcy Lewis from the Marvel movies) because I feel like she’d be able to throw a punch line in the darkest of movies (or ads in this case) without missing a beat.

    Did I mention that my pieces are cursed to turn you into a tree temporarily? No? Oh well, see you in… Whenever you’re not a tree!

    • 124 posts
    October 12, 2021 5:06 PM CDT

     Love the creativity!!!

    • 124 posts
    October 12, 2021 5:23 PM CDT

    Congrats to our co-winners Simon and Calum! Email to choose your prize!

  • October 13, 2021 9:11 AM CDT

    These were all pretty brilliant!